Hot Cup Thoughts

I am a very private person, but I want to share a few thoughts from something I wrote last night in a journal of sorts. These are snippets, but I feel like they hold enough weight and truth to stand without the surrounding context.

I've been having a hard time lately, and I guess writing down my feelings and the things that are bothering me is scary, because it means they are real.

I'm not sure what more to say about this. But rereading this struck me. I guess what makes it so scary is that by writing down the things that worry you and bother you and seem to hang over your head is that you are literally physically manifesting those thoughts. And that really is scary. I suppose one could make the argument that it is much easier to destroy something that has a physical form than a thought.

I've just been feeling so down lately. I am trying to “keep my chin up” but honestly I don't know how I am getting through these days. Maybe I do have some hope for “tomorrow.”

I think... sometimes it doesn't matter how we get through, how we survive, just that we do. It doesn't matter if we know how or why; just that we make it. I'm thankful for whatever it is helping me through this malaise.

On that note, check on your friends. Not only the ones you don't talk to that much, or only see once in a while. Don't get me wrong, it's important to see how they are doing too, but even those you talk to and see on a regular basis may be going through something you can't see. And don't settle for “okay.” I say “okay” all the time and I rarely mean okay in a good way. Ask for details, be a little pushy. You don't have to have answers. Your friend likely doesn't want answers, they probably just want someone to care. Say something along the lines of, “That sucks, and I'm sorry you are going through that. If you ever need to talk about it, let me know.” Dont say that last bit if you don't actually mean it. That'll get you in trouble down the line.

As for me, I'm okay :P I'm not so bad that any of my friends need to worry about me. I'm very unhappy about a few things in my life right now, and I don't know how to fix them, and that is eating at me. And holy hell, this turned into a fair sized post. I hope you check in on a few of your friends, and I hope you (whoever you may be) have a fantastic day. Don't lose hope. Hold Fast.